Introduction
Welcome to High Up! I am Hayden Kelly, a junior at Monmouth University, and I plan on using this blog to document my experience with mindfulness and wellbeing as well as other aspects of my everyday life. I have been practicing yoga intermittently for a few years now; I only began to take it seriously in the beginning of this past summer. I had felt lost in various sectors of my life, whether it was my school, career path, sense of self, etc. until I experienced a pretty drastic change of perspective. Before I mention that, though, I’ll catch you up. I completed two years at Pace University in New York City and felt a sense of overload while living in the Financial District. Albeit beautiful and endlessly fascinating, NYC is tough to handle; I found it especially difficult because I allowed my thoughts to have control over my everyday life, so the combination of a chaotic environment and a chaotic mind did not go hand in hand. Plus, the rent wasn’t exactly the same economic steal as living at my mom’s house in New Jersey for free. When I moved back home, I felt like I let everyone down, including myself. I was constantly comparing my timeline to that of my twin brother and my best friends, most of whom have happily remained students at the universities they started at. On top of the self-doubt education-wise, I also put way too much thought into my relationship. My first love is a wonderful person, but in retrospect I realize that if I had put as much time into working as I did worrying about what-ifs, I would have been able to afford my Wall Street rent with no sweat. So, yeah, I was consumed with all of this stuff, feeling sorry for myself and doing nothing to change it. Until 2023!
In January of this year, I lost one of my moms (as you can see we’re getting right into it) and the pain from the gut-punch I felt life had dealt me at that moment lingered for a while. Honestly, it will never go away; after a few months of inevitable wallowing, though, I collected myself to the best of my abilities and ever since I have been working on channeling my grief into something meaningful. I started attending yoga and mat pilates classes regularly instead of taking them online, which I find to be extremely effective in terms of sticking with something. I continue to nanny part-time for a little girl who has helped me by reminding me how simple things were to me as a child. Her mom, a yoga instructor and nutritionist, also stands as an amazing act to follow, not because of her yoga practice or expertise, but because of her resilience and strong sense of self. She constantly reminds me of who I am and what I am capable of, and does not spare tough love when necessary. Above all, my family and friends have provided me with an incredible support system. They are all very different but equally as amazing, and they bring me back down to Earth when I catch my mind wandering away from me.
I hope this blog illustrates the importance of living a balanced life, or at least attempting to, because doing so feels nearly impossible. I plan on being honest (as I have illustrated in this brief overshare) about the days where I wake up on time and workout and the days where I don’t want to get out of bed. I also plan on using High Up as a tool for holding myself accountable for what I truly love doing. I think it is so easy for me to get caught up in what does not matter, and grounding myself and channeling my grief through exercise and yoga is the healthiest choice I can make.
